Did you know that when a man stops "feeling it” for you, he will often decide he wants to LEAVE without warning or notice? You might unfortunately already know this is true. The reality is that a man can just give up on you and your relationship without spending much if any time figuring out what might be going on, or how to make it work. But it doesn't have to be this way. There is one single thing you can do with a man that will keep him from ever questioning his love and desire to be with you.
Know what it is?
It's that magic emotion we call ATTRACTION.
Have you ever had a man tell you he's not happy and wants to end your relationship? And the more you tried to figure out why he was unhappy and "fix" things... the further he pushed you away.
You couldn't understand why in the world he stopped loving and caring for you the way he used to... and it made no sense at all. And to add further frustration to the pain, there really was no clear REASON WHY he stopped feeling it for you and decided he wanted to leave.
There was no single moment that you knew changed things for him. So it drove you crazy trying to figure out what it really was that had changed the way he felt about you. Now... if you're like most women, this situation has happened to you at least once or twice in your life.
Or it may even be happening for you right now. Point is, you know how devastating it can feel. Well, the good news is that there is a whole lot of LEARNING and GROWTH that can take place in these moments (whether you believe it or not right now). And these are also often the moments that start the process of CHANGE and TRANSFORMATION towards a better life.
To help you get the most from these moments in your life, and make sure you take away the lessons you were meant to learn... consider for a minute how you've dealt with situations like this in the past.
You may have done some or all of the following with a man when your relationship was falling apart and he said he wanted to leave:
1) You tried to "rationalize" the situation and tell him how good you think your relationship is, and how he's wrong for not wanting it or seeing all the amazing things about it. But this NEVER helped.
2) You were sweeter and more affectionate, hoping he'd reciprocate and open back up to you... but all this did was annoy him.
3) The more hurt you felt, and the more he saw this, the LESS he seemed to pay attention to you and your feelings, or care. As a matter of fact, he may have become colder and MORE distant the more he saw that you were hurt.
4) You spent countless hours trying to TALK about what you were both feeling and "work" on things. But that only pushed him further away, no matter how much reasoning or understanding you did when it came to him, his feelings, and how to help him be happy. Recognize any of these responses in your past? If so, then believe it or not I have GOOD NEWS for you. Let me explain why this is good news:
You may have noticed a kind of "trend" going on with all the common responses I listed above.
This "trend" goes something like this:
The HARDER you try with a man, and the more you attempt to TALK things out with him... the LESS RESPONSIVE and "emotionally available" he becomes with you. Fascinating huh?
If you're paying attention here, than you should have some light bulbs going off inside your head at this point. Hopefully you're starting to recognize a kind of PATTERN that has played out between you and the man in your life in your past. This is your first step - to discover this PATTERN of your own... and keep CONSCIOUS of it and how it's working AGAINST YOU with men. Of course, when you start seeing these patterns in your life more clearly, some questions will quickly come up for you.
So here's one of those important questions:
In those times when you've TRIED HARDER to make things work with a man and put MORE LOVE and ENERGY into a relationship when he's pulled away... is the reason that it hasn't worked for you because you're not SAYING the right things? Or could it be that what you were saying didn't really matter, because he had his mind already made up?
Here's the truth:
If you've been close to a man, shared an amazing level of love and connection – and you know what you've shared is "real" - then the reality is that when he pulls away from you and tells you he's unhappy and unsure of wanting to be with you...
On a "logical" level he has decided that he would like to try and move on. But on a deeper EMOTIONAL LEVEL, a man has rarely made up his mind about not wanting to leave if you're still close and he's at all conflicted about things with you. Deep down he still has that same place in his heart that wants to connect with you and share what you used to share - and would want to do so again if things were "different" than they've become.
After all, he felt strongly before. He wanted to be with you before things went wrong. Now, some women sense this kind of thing where a man STILL HAS FEELINGS for them but is saying that he wants to leave... because they can sense it inside him INTUITIVELY, which is great.
But here's the problem with this:
Instead of using this intuition to their benefit... they actually end up SHOOTING THEMSELVES IN THE FOOT with it by trying to CONVINCE the man of what they can see INSIDE HIM... and try and SHOW HIM how to get back in touch with that place inside where he still love and cares for them.
If you know much about how human behaviour works - or more importantly, about how men respond and LISTEN - then you know that trying to tell a man all the things YOU can see that he CAN'T isn't a great way to approach things. If you're like lots of other women who have tried to "save" your relationship unsuccessfully - then some or all of the 4 common responses I described above ring true for you and didn't work out well.
You "went with your gut" and your intuition, and tried to get a man to see all the things YOU KNEW to be true about him and your relationship. But these weren't the things that HE was able to hear or understand about you, about himself, or about your relationship. To make a long story short... it's important to remember that even though you see the "truth" of your situation and try to share it with a man... this is YOUR TRUTH, and NOT HIS.
He has an entirely different perspective all together. Which is why trying to be the one to fix your relationship by CONVINCING a man of what YOUR INTUITION tells you doesn't often "resonate" the same way for him the way it does for you when you talk about what you're seeing and feeling.
In fact, sharing your own intuition about him and your relationship only makes him RESIST YOU even more... and want to get farther away from you and your old relationship.