Differences Betw. What Men Said&What They Mean
Have you ever heard a man say something like:
"I'm not ready for a serious relationship."
Or how about this one -
"I want my freedom."
If you've been close in a relationship with a man and he pulled away, then of course you've heard this before. Men say this stuff all the time.
Do you know what a man "really" means when he says these things? And, do you know WHAT TO DO that can instantly change a man's predictable behavior of WITHDRAWAL or RESISTANCE?
If not, then it's time you stop listening to what a man will SAY TO YOU about himself and his feelings... and start paying attention to what's going on inside his heart and mind.
Men are DIFFERENT from women. And the words they use often don't mean what they SOUND like they mean. So, the FIRST thing that you have to get through your head is that just because a man SAYS something to you, it doesn't always mean what you THINK it means.
Catch my meaning?
THE BIG SECRET HE ISN'T TELLING YOU
There's a secret that men never happen to mention about what they want with a woman, why they date, and what it means for them to have a relationship. Unfortunately, for the good women who are trying to create a great relationship with a man... and hoping that if they try hard enough to make him happy with them so he'll stay... this little secret is causing a LOT of pain and frustration. It's true!
The SECRET is that most men DO want a relationship with an amazing woman. BUT... (and this is an important insight - it might take you a few hours, days, or even weeks to start to understand it for yourself)
Men only want a relationship with a woman who already has about 100 other qualities that they never mention and could probably never list or describe even if they were asked to. And they'll only end up emotionally involved and not RESISTING a long term relationship if they experience for themselves a woman who proves she has these qualities over time.
In other words, if a man says, "I need to be alone right now," what he REALLY means is:
I want a woman who will make me FEEL better when I'm with her than I do in my everyday life as a single man.
The REALITY is that when a man says one of these "I want my freedom" statements, he actually has an IDEAL woman in mind who understands who he is and won't make it feel like "work" when he's with her. A man wants a woman who knows how to have and enjoy a relationship... instead of one who spends her time and energy trying to analyze, worry about, and "fix" things. The reality of this situation is that what a man REALLY wants is a woman who makes him feel MORE of the EMOTIONAL and PHYSICAL response I like to call ATTRACTION... and LESS of the worry and confusion that men don't often like, or know how to deal with, that comes from "working" on a serious relationship.
For most men, feeling and sharing attraction on a physical and emotional level IS the defintion of a good relationship. Of course, I'm not just talking about the common "short-term" kind of attraction that's mostly physical... You already know that a relationship takes a whole lot more than just this kind of thing to really work and LAST. I'm also talking about the more "long-term" kind of attraction that comes from a deeper EMOTIONAL connection and understanding. A man wants a woman who makes him FEEL great, both when he's with her... AND when he's alone.
In other words, they want a woman who knows how to be loving and affectionate, but independent at the same time. But most men either can't describe the things that actually make them feel this kind of CONNECTION and ATTRACTION with a woman, or they don't WANT to have to describe it to a woman, because they want a woman who already IS those things... without having to learn them.
Think about it.
If you were hiring a bodyguard, would you want one that said, "Yeah, I can be a bodyguard. Just give me some time to learn..." or would you want one that already KNEW how to protect and defend at anytime, anywhere without having to "learn"?
Duh.
Well, the same goes with men.
They don't WANT a woman they have to train. The last thing a man wants to do, is to take a woman who DOESN'T "naturally" understand these things, and show her what they are and how they work. If you don't already know how to relate to a man in a way that appeals to him and shows him that you "get" all these things, then no amount of "talking things through" or trying to improve things together is going to help you or make him start seeing you as the woman he wants to stay with.
"I'm not ready for a serious relationship."
Or how about this one -
"I want my freedom."
If you've been close in a relationship with a man and he pulled away, then of course you've heard this before. Men say this stuff all the time.
Do you know what a man "really" means when he says these things? And, do you know WHAT TO DO that can instantly change a man's predictable behavior of WITHDRAWAL or RESISTANCE?
If not, then it's time you stop listening to what a man will SAY TO YOU about himself and his feelings... and start paying attention to what's going on inside his heart and mind.
Men are DIFFERENT from women. And the words they use often don't mean what they SOUND like they mean. So, the FIRST thing that you have to get through your head is that just because a man SAYS something to you, it doesn't always mean what you THINK it means.
Catch my meaning?
THE BIG SECRET HE ISN'T TELLING YOU
There's a secret that men never happen to mention about what they want with a woman, why they date, and what it means for them to have a relationship. Unfortunately, for the good women who are trying to create a great relationship with a man... and hoping that if they try hard enough to make him happy with them so he'll stay... this little secret is causing a LOT of pain and frustration. It's true!
The SECRET is that most men DO want a relationship with an amazing woman. BUT... (and this is an important insight - it might take you a few hours, days, or even weeks to start to understand it for yourself)
Men only want a relationship with a woman who already has about 100 other qualities that they never mention and could probably never list or describe even if they were asked to. And they'll only end up emotionally involved and not RESISTING a long term relationship if they experience for themselves a woman who proves she has these qualities over time.
In other words, if a man says, "I need to be alone right now," what he REALLY means is:
I want a woman who will make me FEEL better when I'm with her than I do in my everyday life as a single man.
The REALITY is that when a man says one of these "I want my freedom" statements, he actually has an IDEAL woman in mind who understands who he is and won't make it feel like "work" when he's with her. A man wants a woman who knows how to have and enjoy a relationship... instead of one who spends her time and energy trying to analyze, worry about, and "fix" things. The reality of this situation is that what a man REALLY wants is a woman who makes him feel MORE of the EMOTIONAL and PHYSICAL response I like to call ATTRACTION... and LESS of the worry and confusion that men don't often like, or know how to deal with, that comes from "working" on a serious relationship.
For most men, feeling and sharing attraction on a physical and emotional level IS the defintion of a good relationship. Of course, I'm not just talking about the common "short-term" kind of attraction that's mostly physical... You already know that a relationship takes a whole lot more than just this kind of thing to really work and LAST. I'm also talking about the more "long-term" kind of attraction that comes from a deeper EMOTIONAL connection and understanding. A man wants a woman who makes him FEEL great, both when he's with her... AND when he's alone.
In other words, they want a woman who knows how to be loving and affectionate, but independent at the same time. But most men either can't describe the things that actually make them feel this kind of CONNECTION and ATTRACTION with a woman, or they don't WANT to have to describe it to a woman, because they want a woman who already IS those things... without having to learn them.
Think about it.
If you were hiring a bodyguard, would you want one that said, "Yeah, I can be a bodyguard. Just give me some time to learn..." or would you want one that already KNEW how to protect and defend at anytime, anywhere without having to "learn"?
Duh.
Well, the same goes with men.
They don't WANT a woman they have to train. The last thing a man wants to do, is to take a woman who DOESN'T "naturally" understand these things, and show her what they are and how they work. If you don't already know how to relate to a man in a way that appeals to him and shows him that you "get" all these things, then no amount of "talking things through" or trying to improve things together is going to help you or make him start seeing you as the woman he wants to stay with.
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Thanks for reading =)